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Heads up…this is a rant…
Turns out, that despite massive advancements in education and opportunities women have available to them, we are still exponentially more likely to feel like a fraud than our male colleagues.
I just read that in a survey held year after year through a major university, that men initiated salary negotiations four times as often as women do, and that when women do negotiate, they ask for 30% less than the guys.
Why?
Because when given an opportunity to advance, women are likely to pass it up unless they feel they are 100% prepared and already capable of excelling and being perfect.
As heartbreaking as it is to hear, it seems women would rather quit than take a risk that they’ll be anything less than perfect.
What explains why, in business, women so commonly undercharge, give away or barter for services, and burn through huge chunks of time, churning over basic business decisions that are needed so that they can begin to gain much-needed momentum and start creating greater income.
It also means that women end up, by default, deepening their sense of doubt, rather than cultivating feeling inner confidence.
It’s crazy, right?
But it’s only crazy if we don’t do something about this.
So…imagine something for just a moment…imagine beginning to see a different possibility for yourself, one where you are making new choices that help you feel more confident.
If you were feeling more confident, more sure of yourself and believing in yourself deeply, at a soul level…what becomes possible for you in your business?
Are you talking to more prospective clients? Raising your fees? Asking someone to promote you? Hosting your first workshop?
Would you feel better about yourself? Would you trust yourself and believe in yourself at a deep, soul level?
And would you be just plain happier with where you’re at right now, versus getting caught in the cycling drain of comparison and low self-esteem?
If it’s time to stop under-estimating yourself and over-estimating everyone else, then here are 6 beliefs I’ve adopted that have saved me from the cruel fate of not being able to “just let go” of perfectionism.
Choose What You’re Going To Obsess Over
Because trying not to be a perfectionist is like trying to be “just a little pregnant”.
Most of the tips I’ve read about how to let go of perfectionism piss me off and only seem to drive home, in the cruelest ways possible, my feeling guilty for being so incredible imperfect at ridding myself of perfectionism.
Seriously? You mean all I needed to do was “delegate more” or “learn to let go”? And to think that all this time I never knew it was that easy. LOL, right?!
Okay, so back to reality here…what I will do is share insights that can help you redirect your energy from trying to out-perform or out-do someone else’s version of the “perfect you”, into to making peace with perfectionism.
Because in our hearts, all that effort towards controlling every detail of our lives or businesses is really geared towards that outcome anyway…creating peace.
So here are 6 beliefs I’ve adopted that have, surprisingly, served to help me delegate more, and yes, to learn to let go…
I would rather be awesome than perfect.
I would rather try — learning something new in the process — then let fear of looking like an idiot stop me from being awesome.
I would rather look stupid for a moment, than live for the rest of my life with knowing I didn’t try.
I would rather feel the peace of imperfection, than the stress and anxiety of trying to always look good.
Mastery is a beautiful thing and I won’t ever experience it if I’m not willing to feel awkward, ask for help, fumble, or make a mistake in my journey of achieving it.
My brilliance still shows up even when I’m not perfect.
So while I may never be the type to leave dirty laundry laying on the floor (mess makes me nervous), I have learned to let others see my vulnerability…
As an entrepreneur, letting yourself off the hook of appearing perfect will radically change the conversation you have with yourself.
Instead of asking, “What will people think?” when contemplating an email campaign, you’ll ask, “How can I speak directly to their most pressing problems?”.
Instead of worrying if your fees are too high (which, trust me, they aren’t) you free to focus your considerable energy and attention on helping your ideal client uncover their most pressing need that you can solve.
Instead of fearing offending your client or hurting their feelings, you’ll call them out on their stuff so that they can make real, lasting transformation.
Ladies, it’s time to stop talking yourselves out of pursuing amazing opportunities and start being all-in with your businesses.
Because your life is meant to be lived in the pursuit of being of service and of loving and living all-out. You are better than perfect because YOU are YOU!
