Who Are You Comparing Yourself To?

by | Jul 24, 2012 | Money and Mindset

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If jealousy had a wicked sister, it would be comparison.

Yes, it’s human nature to compare, but many women entrepreneurs get caught in a destructive cycle of first comparing, then finding fault with themselves, only to then feel inadequate and play small.

Which kind of comparison do you get hooked by?

checkmarkComparing yourself to someone who is miles ahead of you, then thinking, “I’ll never be able to do that” and losing the inspiration to begin marketing your business.

checkmarkOr seeing someone at your same level surging ahead, only to have that little voice in your head tell you that you’re not good enough or doing enough.

checkmarkOr wanting to follow up with someone you met at an event and again, hearing that little voice pop in with, “She’s probably too busy/not really interested/I’m not ready”.

Ladies, you gotta get a handle on comparison and stop “feeding the beast”, otherwise you’ll never get your message out into the world and help the people you’re supposed to be in service to!

To help out, I’m sharing 3 HIGHLY PERSONAL tips with you. These are the same tips I use whenever that snarky voice of comparison tries to take over and disrupt my connection to spirit and to my unique brilliance. Using these tips will restore your faith in yourself so that you can stay firmly committed to your entrepreneurial path, with grace and ease.

Tip #1 Look For Your “Personal Gold” In The Comparison

When you notice that someone else is prospering or achieving more than you it’s a signal that in some way, you haven’t been stepping up in the way you’re meant to.

Looked at in this way, comparison becomes a mirror, reflecting for you where you’ve been holding back and playing small instead of stretching and challenging yourself.

I call this your “Personal Gold”.

For example, let’s say you see a colleague excelling with her marketing, attracting new clients and almost overnight she has her first 5-figure month. While you’re outwardly happy for her, inwardly you feel yourself shrinking small in comparison.

What is your Personal Gold here? Is it that you’ve been avoiding making calls to generate speaking engagements? Or that you’ve been letting the needs of others take over your time? Or that you’ve been hiding out from staying accountable to your coaching/mentoring group?

In the moment of identifying what your Personal Gold is, you free yourself from the contracted energy of comparison and can instead, see your friend’s success as an incredible gift — for you and for her!

Tip #2 Don’t Start Slinging Trash 

When faced with the comparison of someone who is advancing in areas you wish you were, it’s tempting to slide into trashing that other person.

You know, like when you see someone who is successful and without realizing it, a comment like, “Sure she’s successful but I bet her marriage must be a mess” slips out.

This is the shadow side of comparison and while we think it’s going to make us feel better, tearing someone else down only deepens feelings of limitation, lack and fear.

A better approach is to first, remember that you’re only in comparison mode because there is something you are meant to do or to achieve that you haven’t yet. So instead of slinging slights, get curious and ask yourself, “What is she doing that I can learn from?”

Tip #3 Better To Compare How Far You’ve Come to Where You Are Now

Most women are slow to honor how brilliant and amazing they truly are. You can instantly turn the tables on comparing yourself to someone else by instead, comparing how far you’ve come compared to where you used to be. What can you do now that felt difficult or scary a year ago? How much more confident are you now? What successes can you celebrate?

Aim For Bettering YOUR Best And You’ll Stay Happy, Challenged And Thriving Throughout Your Entrepreneurial Journey!

Remember to set goals that stretch you out of your comfort zone, get coaching to help you reach your goals and track your success monthly.

I love using income as a tracking mechanism for my business AND my personal growth because I know without a doubt, that who I am becoming is directly reflected in my income. Self-fulfillment, facing fears and being passionate and fierce about helping others is easily transformed into greater income!

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Who Are You Comparing Yourself To?