Some women can spend money without giving it a second thought…I’m not one of them.
It’s not that I’m all that frugal – one glance at the number of high-end dressage horses I own is proof of that.
I am what I would call a ‘swing spender’ – I’ll spend a lot on my horses and their care…and very little in other areas of my life.
There are many areas in my life where I am uncomfortable enough spending money that the moment I do spend, I feel a weird emotional cocktail of guilt, shame and scarcity, with a dash of regret thrown in to the mix.
I believe that how we do money is how we do everything, so my goal in looking into the emotionally charged topic of spending isn’t to create balance (as if that’s even necessary or achievable) or to come up with some clever new way of budgeting.
I don’t believe in budgets. I don’t believe in justifying what you want to spend money on. And I don’t believe there’s any value in feeling constricted in any way.
Because the point isn’t how much you spend or what you spend it on. My intention is to address the topic of POWER, specifically, to coach you to take BACK your power when it comes to overspending AND even under spending.
What I DO believe in (and teach my clients in my money coaching program) is that you can free yourself from unconscious spending patterns that don’t serve you, so that you can make wise spending decisions in your business and in your life.
Because as a woman entrepreneur you have a ridiculously amazing opportunity to make extraordinary money.
I suggest reading that sentence again because entrepreneurship is the #1 best opportunity available to women today to create wealth.
And the last thing you want stopping you is letting old, outdated thinking about spending stand in your way of creating the wealth that is fully available to you through your business.
Here’s how to get started:
Tip #1 Stop Using The Past To Define You
If you continuously look at your past you’ll never give yourself the opportunity to start being who you want to become.
Instead, I recommend feeling compassion for who you were. Having compassion doesn’t mean justifying or making excuses, it means recognizing your humanity.
I am a self-made multi-millionaire thanks to working continuously on my relationship with money and applying that to my business, but trust me, I’ve also made my fair share of money mistakes.
I’ve overpaid employees who didn’t produce, didn’t fire employees fast enough because I felt guilty, paid for fancy ‘feel good’ team retreats that didn’t return any ROI, invested in ‘pay and pray’ social media ads, bought things consultants told me I needed when in my heart I didn’t agree, joined mentoring programs with some of the world’s flashiest mentors who couldn’t deliver even ten percent on their promise and who for sure didn’t genuinely care about my success, etc.
And you know what? It’s all okay! Because thanks to those experiences I learned how to stand in my power, take it back when needed and for Pete’s sake stop giving it away.
The takeaway? Having compassion for who you WERE is what allows you to become who you are meant to be NOW.
Tip #2 Choose the TYPE of spender you want to be
This is the fun part, where you get to press reset on the past and start fresh with a new sense of who you are and what you value.
You get to redefine the rules on who you are as a spender, so that you can make empowered spending choices going forward.
Think of this as starting to create a New Money Spending Story that has the happy ending that YOU get to choose.
So what type of a spender do you want to be?
We’re talking Identity here, because you can’t make changes if you’re stuck in the same old identity.
So today, you get to choose a new Identity and here’s a money coaching exercise that will show you how…
There is just one rule: What type of a spender you want to be is an ‘I am’ statement that empowers your freedom.
So your new Identity statement looks like this:
‘I am a ___________ Spender, which empowers my freedom.’
You definitely want to be specific here. And remember, the magic is in choosing your spending type based on who you want to BE (not reflecting the past).
For example, my spending identity statement is “I am a Saving Spender, which empowers my freedom.”
That may sound weird, right? A ‘Saving Spender’? What???
What that means for me is that when I spend money I am inspired and mindful to pay attention to how much I’m paying for things.
Maybe that sounds basic to you but for me, it’s not and here’s why: While I’m not a big shopper, I love and value getting the best of everything, which means I can overpay for things without giving it too much thought. Or I can skip negotiating a better deal even though I’m a skilled negotiator and have no problem having money conversations. And because I’m not naturally motivated to buy something just because it’s on sale I can ignore holiday sales, etc.
By stepping into the Identity of being a Saving Spender, I’m now mindful to look for better deals, to buy on sale, and to reduce business and personal expenses.
I also used this new Identity to take back my power with team and contractors, negotiate better rates, and keep a sharp eye on the ROI I receive for their services.
As a result my profitability has doubled over the past few years since implementing this new Identity statement.
And experiencing that toxic emotional cocktail of feeling guilt, shame, scarcity and regret rarely happens any more.
Here are other examples of Identity statements to inspire you:
“I am a Mindful Spender, which empowers my freedom”
“I am a ROI Spender, which empowers my freedom”
(This one means that what gets spent creates a return on investment, beyond just a momentary high of buying.)
“I am an Investment Spender, which empowers my freedom”
(This was mine for several years, which is how I socked away so much money in retirement in a short period of time.)
But what if you’re someone who doesn’t overspend but UNDER spends because spending causes you anxiety? Your type of spender may sound totally different. Maybe you are a Calm Spender, or a Confident Spender. For you, the benefit of your new Identity statement isn’t to validate how you’ve been (which will keep you stuck in the old fear based place). Its power is in helping you branch out and spend in ways that help you grow your business and your lifestyle beyond the limits that under spending can cause.
Whatever type of spender you choose to be, your new Spending Identity statement gives you a framework — a lens — through which you can start making conscious spending choices that serve your personal growth and your business success, from today forward!
